No Disorders – No Impairments? –  I have no doubt of my impairing sees coexistence with chronic  anxieties –

What is SCT ??? – I am wistful for genotype assessment – by just a simple specimen of saliva for DNA determining the accurate dosage  in precision of stumilants to ease my sufferings and  the agonizing substance abused not within ones right frame of mindset inevitably. SOS ..!!! I’m seeking for the test!, –


PROFESSOR R.Barkley – voice is my bed time antitode for the past 2 dozen of fortnights..

The prejevalation in I won the procrastination I can’t deny this man , my savior and answers to my self contradicting… My panic attack was my hatch day gift in 26 June 2015 – 26 JUNE 2015 in Amsterdam and I was blessed as my Dutch family was with me to give the trust and comforts to make those raging breathlessness swept entirely off my feet…. Ema.. Tamir- I will never forget the reflection of my unrecognizable of a stranger with paper white paleness that could not stop those wandering tears …

Till Ema held my hands and whispered” Let’s go Home…. “. Those magical words effortlessly halt those agonizing yet alien like watering eyes … And most of all, the wheelchair seemed a disgrace with sudden consciousness that was just phenomenal but they are the truth with no trace of lies nor exaggerating facts … The aftermath actually is still haunting… Making me missing my Dutch family 365 days but yet to step in Netheland ‘s airport in ..Amsterdam  ..

Prof Barkley did little efforts to keep me digesting his intruding FIRE HORSED of speed light definition—
YouTube had one significant voice — like my own intuition I had relied my LIFE .. Since adolescent I was my guidance, my 20 years ahead planner.. I was me till the current IMME..  I could focus on his 120 minutes of seminal for a estimated repetition of an average of 50 times over the you tube as to assure my selective memory does not allow my own perception to disable my general comprehending on this aspect …  To be able to cope as a single mum to endure the true epitome of giftedness intelligence of my only son , that was reticent, responsible,-  high distinctive  merits on science and elementary Math at his tender developing age was the hardest task one could ever empathize…. He is the reason I am still fighting my own impairments of SCT manifesting – high chances of crossing path chronic fatigue that happens to be a natural and common cases in overlapping of my dianogsed attention deficit hyperactivity disorders’s aka (SCT) coexistence .




my perstist to battle



to help me cope with my son’s compulsive addiction
i will persist as much knowledge – hoping to aid those i could visibly regconized as part of WE ,!

I certainly am not aiming for a PHD in this field but Confucious teaching reminds me of maximizing gain with advantages of facing the battle commerces by knowing your enemies’ terrine. —
My self awareness, my self motivation, my self restraint, my perserverence, my persistence  and my determination leads me back relentlessly to my story without mother fairy.. To rewind my tale of balancing via space diary of self pity whispering in silence .. My creativity is my condolence for my so well call heavenly cursed giftedness in a world of chilled solitary…