Sitting thru a childhood alone as mom & dad more or less foster me out since a fence full month old .. Mom can’t really handle the stress of new Borns.. Hence I was tossed around , a sparking bubbly chatter box live me a title to keep by side every now & then, it’s not like us treasuring the kids with showering of lavished equipments and planning ahead for them.. My time is probably why I survived my (suspected) SCT that manifest inti its full state.. Like a science fiction I have all my life playing along in it, its insanely lucid yet vividly incoherent to any other listening being .!

This is me , now that impairment kicked in at its all year festive season downs, i recollected after sluggish 5 days in deep sleeps , not wanting to participate or rather get involved social network. I’m looking backwards & yes , for the past 8 years I do not have no one to answer to but myself & let’s not forget there’s also to other me THE very stern, mean & other half of THE VOICE? ( tat kept me self awareness, self regulates & self restraining for the responsibilities to all the bills tat is all taken care for my whole family… Even I know I planned ahead but each time , I would just paused , foresight & more worrying self accumulated till the fundamental of impairments is not able to self denied of such a attention deficit disorder in this complexities of human brained… The size might be insignificant but the amazing part of individuals- the frontal lobe, the limbic circuit, the frontal cellebella system with the executive functional DDss having a faulty working memory – in my situation ..

To be sleeping 2 – 3 weeks was never my problem cus I could afford it & thus the silly thoughts of this might actually be a golden therapy I invented to sleep away the time as I had too many agonic free minutes & if I don’t see , don’t hear , will not engaged in some new gadgets or simply no output of expensed was my naive – juvenile way to perceive tat in then moments.

Time is now anxiously waiting me to get tensed , afraid oversleeping, worried bout people’s opinions on my upbringing of my treasure pot. Dan… I’m really letting go .. I had to,, I can’t be fighting over with him for day light & screamingly subconsciously in the wee hours were we casually often run into each other’s sight..

The last vacation in Japan was marvelous to experience but I knew it is the last we cherished Cus he is really not my toy as of a long time when I selfishly hung on pampered , like a Barbie doll, I was his master & he charms whosoever he meets in my presence in my within… I’m glad I openly caught his ATTENTION.. Trust me it’s really not a fancy task …. Being rejected , being criticized n still taking the role of mercy Mary the mother… I had to agreed the toughest job is to be a mom .

My scenario- it’s bad enough to be SCT looking after a social reticently 40 yr old brother, ( a 75% of nephew & uncles with inherent of this deficits seemed super explained – tat my son & bro – 2 very diff growing environmental and background ended up photocopies dick alike !, I just can’t remember when I got a little drifted… And the case of I m standing in as PARENTS , which I still apologized to him for driving his dad away , he does care.. He does feel ,, just tat he is not able to be persistent on keeping his promises , overdosing on his games !, crashing time tables , n WE both are myopic to the now ,,, as if our world has no importance of the future Even little remains of the past if not to our benefits , we have the habitually piled on top n move as batt not flat kinda momentum…

The last 5 days was just wanting to be CUT off from the daily routine .. From My life …. (This happens always in the end f the year Cus that’s wen all the bills , insurance,, investments readjustment, n new marjin setting .. Etc etc,,with due blessing , the SEEKED value of those much knowledgeable on the 10%population global wide growing disorders not what I made it up or blaming on it, I need not attain a PHD on this disease tat is not very high profiled .. I was only being a mom, the voice patiently sat me thru repeatedly .. Umpteenth hearing to avoid misleading to my self destruct I was merely playing a defense.

Now tat.. I worried how dan is Gona mk it out there,.. I just told him this morning, putting the tutorial cheque of 3800 SGD – that’s for 2 months on a one weekly lesson but a merely all day break plus revision .. KK , with us since Dan was preparing for elementary school at STILL ongoing institute situated at 2 mins away current residents.. Barkley road. It’s a pretty scary pay check for his mentor cum father / bro figure I am thankful even though his session … I’m seeking his patience , forgiveness as my emotional states was never quite manageable wen the topic is my pain?… Damn.. I lost myself deep again,, Alas… I know totally experiencing the lecture of “ITS NOT ABOUT DOING WHAT WE KNOW …. ITS ALMOST VAGUE TO EVEN RESITE IT .. ITS IS AFTER ALL … Knowing what to do ??????

It’s Crucial on the where n when…. N our problem is not how or what?. I’m feeling that no matter how much I want to share .. This is not looking too convincing as my sluggish already slept me worrying for time frames, I might not be able to remember this moment tat I definitely need it to be recorded ,, perhaps one day,. Dan will finally comprehend with my blast of cyber daily … My reminders tat I choose forgiveness .. & debts n hypocrites I try to avoiding n never forget the amount, the dates , the outstanding… I will not asked … But tat don’t mean I m tat careless… I felt eased after pouring such a rocker fellow in me to thee… . I saw my bro survived ,, without me defending n providing, Dan, almost reluctant, but I hv to just hands off …, Cus I did it once ,.. Gradually , m amazed with bliss by his miser of monetary accountability . I’m letting go this round Cus .. It’s hurt me bad by the dailies n recurring rages n impulsivity tat we ended most but on the long run.. I will lose the wholesome of him … Accelerating the speed of from meters to miles per hour eventually .



Sluggish cognitive tempo (SCT) refers to an impairment of attention in hypoactive-appearing individuals that first presents in childhood. At this time, it exists only as a research entity that has yet to debut in official diagnostic taxonomies. However, it seems likely that a constellation of characteristic features of SCT may form the criteria for a newly defined childhood disorder in the foreseeable future, provided limitations in the extant findings can be addressed by future research. Most clinicians who assess and treat cases of attention- deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) have likely seen and treated someone who falls within the parameters for SCT. This article outlines the history of SCT and reviews the current understanding of the disorder, how it is distinguishable from and similar to other attention disorders, and what future directions research and treatment may take. Based on this review and their clinical experience, the authors conjecture that SCT is probably distinct from ADHD rather than being an ADHD subtype, although there is notable overlap with the ADHD predominantly inattentive and combined presentations. (Journal of Psychiatric Practice 2014; 20:38–49)

The symptoms of SCT but mostly mistaken as ADHD combine type .

Inattention symptoms: fails to give close attention to details, has trouble holding attention on tasks, does not listen when spoken to directly, does not follow through on instructions, has trouble organizing tasks, is reluctant to do tasks which require an extended mental effort, often loses things necessary for required tasks, easily distracted, forgetful in daily activities
Hyperactivity and impulsivity symptoms: fidgets or squirms, leaves seat inappropriately, runs or climbs inappropriately, unable to play quietly, often “on the go” or “driven by a motor”, talks excessively, blurts answers early, has trouble waiting his/her turn, interrupts or intrudes on others
SCT is proposed to be a similar disorder to the predominantly inattentive presentation of ADHD, but, as discussed later, importantly distinct from it. The list of symptoms that follows is from a leading researcher of SCT, however, no universally accepted set of symptoms has been developed since this symptom cluster has not yet been recognized as an independent disorder. Additionally, requirements for a proposed diagnosis such as the number of symptoms, the duration of symptoms, and the impact on functioning are continuing to be investigated.[2]

Sluggish cognitive tempo symptoms: prone to daydreaming, difficulty staying awake or alert in boring situations, easily confused, easily bored, spacey or in a fog, lethargic or more tired thank others, underactive or less energy than others, slow moving, don’t process information as quickly or accurately as others