My son battles morbidity 
Just like the same case tat triggered my impairments of such profound disorder ! My love towards my younger brother was to make sure he does not feel inferior but when all fingers started to point at liberation – I find the world does not Hv space for me to put on my mask farther !! I am after all the sole reason for his sluggish & dependence !! The facts does backstabbed my weakening heart with wounds that went deeper yet leaving one just to bleed but could passed of as a normal being hoping to live amongst humanity till my son grows a little more older ! 
Again Being accused of computer freedom I gave my son — I m suffering in debate if I should just end this agonic pain the way I once did instead ! I fear no pain afraid no death ! with all welcome hearted but it’s going to be for Dan to cope I must realistic! – it’s the consequences that might affect the growing adolescent cus my repeated anxieties – the wrong words cud hurt him ! Battling chronic & fighting impulsive impairments is jus making me drained n sick ! Professional help does no sympathy of our deficits and for me to escape my 20 hours sleep a day I rather be jus in bed ! I am capable since I Hv my financial sorted steady – am a button away for the worst case scenario already !!  
I accept the fact I am the only one to take this blame ! No one else but just me ! 

I am responsible of the current chaotic state – I caused myself and my innocent love to suffer a battle with depression mood swings & chronic ! I knew wen he said he is not happy & suggested to die instead was no joking symbolic ! I hoped for answers cus I Hv doubts now on me in every strategic – I lost myself totally tonight wen I overlooked he does inherit my morbid !  

he is the reason i breathe
his humble neurology gift
just indifferent
we do care
he cared in his way
he is the smartest
he planned his future
his prejevalation
his compulsiveness
his emotional lucid , vivid -
he is will to seek consultation