IMME -silly narcissists one may assume- sentimental value i hv mine captured to review

Accusing miseries , cognitive incapabilities , morbid poetries — my cyber dairy ….


Silent cries

I speak as I write – some words are double blades knifes – some pains are bound for my own life – I will survive !

When I had to relentlessly admit, acknowledge ..  

That I can’t exclude myself from mishaps … Accidents… That evolved around me … Irregardless of how , what, who, why… As long as it relates to me either direct or indirectly…  


 – I m RESPONSIBLE even for things I m not aware of…. 

the silent cries of many made a noticeably  alarm when I halt to sympathize 

The inhibitions of ones control over excitement, resentment., emotional expressing So often being overlooked,, so many times misunderstood !, the labelled so often degraded  by general population,  -! It is really a situation that’s heart breakingly crude.

I couldn’t help but could vivid see them with affirmative evaluation that I was never ever too alone in this humane universal zone….. to see what serious yet soothing lies beneath the surface of the Milky Way horizon ! Some unexplainable yet commonly overlooked 
 “WHEN THERES NO IMPAIRMENTS, THERES NO DISORDERS, !!” – The phoneme in this attention deficit that might be a trait in the entire human ratio .. Now that The ability to vividly confirm the factors that might cause chronic fatigue to the ones that is just living their live but to accommodate and generate such impulsivity, aggressiveness, emotionally instability, into daily acceptance is truly the force to drive these group to another level of bottling acute & accumulated disorders in fatal chronic ! 

“Ironically…. Lucidity of such disorders will unseemly be visible by the only one truth self which is heartedly and sincerely concern if there should be impairments immersing upon daily functioning that might cause one or to others induce substantial discomfort in the uncontrollable state of ones inhibition.”

HOW PROFOUND is the HART of such genetic neurological analogies. — So little information and awareness upon a click in the Internet when in search of the cause and the truth behind ones despairingly seek with ones’ procrastination – Yes!, so many times, leading one from facts about the obsessional misleading statements !

 So often penalized by public as a form of deception leading social peers in the Pyschology field for bargaining state of certified privileges that the United States had the DSM 5 to scale its value of the disorders’ nature … – 
” Impermanence is the rising, passing and changing of things that have into being or have arisen. This means that these things never persist in the same way, but are vanishing, changing, dissolving from moment to moment.”

While some less fortunate endure defenseless silence, battling alone apathetically to pass daily life by living in the moment! – myopic within a world reviving upon forever a now ! an inevitable time blindness cursed whereby often judged as an irresponsible behavioral act , an extremely lacking persistency or will power to attain or achieve !! –

So as ironically it may much seemed , undoubtedly ridiculous old tales about a disease revolving some issues of unclear attention definitions!! Perhaps vivid facts of it generally by generic inheritance! A mystical suspense leading a profundity phonemic lists of symptoms which differs individually upon manifesting & transpiring such impairments end results into 

a peculiar disorder of  

-associated  with solely ones executive function of   “Performance” , not skills !

 -dysfunctional disability  Of  “Doing what u know but not knowing what to do !! ”

-failing to  prioritized of  “the WHEn &Where , but not HOw & What!! ”

– the uncontrollable of procrastination and prejivelation!!

Shall let Russell Barkley explain in precise what are the delay in growth ! 

People has the right to talk..  But don’t they hv a mirror to spare a thought ?

A soul thats self reprimanding – the more forgiving , the more intense where simply no one realized 

A question mark seems my final answer even through prayers thru self soothe & self sympathized .  
A splendid entourage roams itself apart sparingly 

A juvenile reflection mirrored it’s mind wanderingly   

with fluttered sentiments , 

with unexpect excitements ,

A phenomenal state of phenom epitomized ! 

mesmerized , bedazzled in its own paradise! 
The emotional state that used to bottle deep down now could no longer hold back the traumatize,

The friendships of betrayal could be just my perceptional deficit which is why I made it publicized ! 
Sluggish Cognitive Tempo – the lethargic without the stimulants & prejivelation –some general knowledge that the general population has no compassion nor knowledge less said. To empathize…..

Looking back repeatedly for evidence that not many of normal population has practical records.. Mine revealed not by assumption but reference records by academic report card’s but revealed also conducts & comments that was 3 decades’s old spelled conducts of – the day dreaming , spacey ..& HYPOactivity ( chatterbox) – Helplessly accepting fate with no deny over my destination since choices is just to learn more to cope with the growing pains of my adolescent son .. That’s even harder to swallow when awaken yet again with the repeated calls from the school that I refrained to have him diagnose wandering if I did it affirmatively wrong from right?.. — 

Mind wandering is a state of spacey , day dreaming , mind double tasking alike –

Joseph Brodsky wrote this poem to clearly describe with analysis of what it’s like .
Could that be the truth that lies behind such phenomenon genetic inheritance that’s disturbingly yet chronically indifferent of an accused stoner which fails to pay attentions while like a clown ..falling into the drain tat was reminded & still comply … .?? What is mind double tasking while beyond neurological trait beneath its giftedness lies ? 
Poet Joseph Brodsky described it as a “psychological Sahara,” a cognitive desert “that starts right in your bedroom and spurns the horizon.” The hands of the clock seem to stop; the stream of consciousness slows to a drip. We want to be anywhere but here.[12]
Wallas (1926) considered mind-wandering as an important aspect of his second stage of creative thought – incubation.[15g

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