IMME -silly narcissists one may assume- sentimental value i hv mine captured to review

Accusing miseries , cognitive incapabilities , morbid poetries — my cyber dairy ….



More than waiting simple dots………. 

I speak for those whom I felt they tapped and poked upon my FB media Interference –

I regconized the reticent way but indirect yet constant acknowledge gesture  -;) !

I was never quite alone after a year of reality survival I learned thru solace acceptance –

I saw amongst us how  OUR 10percent of giftedness amazingly cross path in mutual !!
As quiet as not to raise judging labelled as priotiized – some accommodate symptoms bearable to their peers – while disorder arises only when one faced impairments which often attempt to camouflage back into real life in silence –

But their caring heart , their unconditional touch felt all my shivering battle with warmth and assurance –

So often critiscized by public as a form of deception leading social peers in the Pyschology field for bargaining state of certified privileges that the United States had yet  given the inattentive “I” only category the SCTS a name endorsing the new DSM 5 to scale its value of the disorders’ nature … – ???

itrusttheresagodbutidontrelyonhimto problemsolve

” Impermanence is the rising, passing and changing of things that have into being or have arisen. This means that these things never persist in the same way, but are vanishing, changing, dissolving from moment to moment.”
While some less fortunate endure defenseless silence, battling alone apathetically to pass daily life by living in the moment! – myopic within a world reviving upon forever a now ! an inevitable time blindness cursed whereby often judged as an irresponsible behavioral act , an extremely lacking persistency or will power to attain or achieve !! –

So as ironically it may much seemed , undoubtedly ridiculous old tales about a disease revolving some issues of unclear attention definitions!! Perhaps vivid facts of it generally by generic inheritance! A mystical suspense leading a profundity phonemic lists of symptoms which differs individually upon manifesting & transpiring such impairments end results into a peculiar disorder of

– “Performance” , not skills ! dysfunctional disability
à “Doing what u know but not knowing what to do !! “

People has the right to talk..  But don’t they hv a mirror to spare a thought ?

A soul thats self reprimanding – the more forgiving , the more intense where simply no one realized 

A question mark seems my final answer even through prayers thru self soothe & self sympathized .  
A splendid entourage roams itself apart sparingly 

A juvenile reflection mirrored it’s mind wanderingly   

with fluttered sentiments , 

with unexpect excitements ,

A phenomenal state of phenom epitomized ! 

mesmerized , bedazzled in its own paradise! 
The emotional state that used to bottle deep down now could no longer hold back the traumatize,

The friendships of betrayal could be just my perceptional deficit which is why I made it publicized ! 
Sluggish Cognitive Tempo – the lethargic without the stimulants & prejivelation –some general knowledge that the general population has no compassion nor knowledge less said. To empathize…..

Looking back repeatedly for evidence that not many of normal population has practical records.. Mine revealed not by assumption but reference records by academic report card’s but revealed also conducts & comments that was 3 decades’s old spelled conducts of – the day dreaming , spacey ..& HYPOactivity ( chatterbox) – Helplessly accepting fate with no deny over my destination since choices is just to learn more to cope with the growing pains of my adolescent son .. That’s even harder to swallow when awaken yet again with the repeated calls from the school that I refrained to have him diagnose wandering if I did it affirmatively wrong from right?.. — 

Mind wandering is a state of spacey , day dreaming , mind double tasking alike –

Joseph Brodsky wrote this poem to clearly describe with analysis of what it’s like .
Could that be the truth that lies behind such phenomenon genetic inheritance that’s disturbingly yet chronically indifferent of an accused stoner which fails to pay attentions while like a clown ..falling into the drain tat was reminded & still comply … .?? What is mind double tasking while beyond neurological trait beneath its giftedness lies ? 
Poet Joseph Brodsky described it as a “psychological Sahara,” a cognitive desert “that starts right in your bedroom and spurns the horizon.” The hands of the clock seem to stop; the stream of consciousness slows to a drip. We want to be anywhere but here.[12]
Wallas (1926) considered mind-wandering as an important aspect of his second stage of creative thought – incubation.[15g

An anxiety on 26 June came knocking my door, attacking with a Roar

As my ability of focusing & to concentrate deteriorates with visible & significant signs of trails … I am glad , ! Not thrill , not too sad with such a tragic situation that strikes with proving facts but self consoling a point which I have done my best , and I was not incapable to express the gifts I wasn’t BLESSED.

– as I was getting more information why & how

panic attack

occurs & obviously prevention is to memorize the

TO do list

It took me – a week to write a precise but officially letter of complaint – that I gave my promised to Mr Wesley, a ground representative of Singapore Airlines – the UK duty manager based at Amsterdam Schipol Airport .

My incompetence to breathe , my tales and the pain within.
My incapabilities to relieve , – losing mind & memories kicks in.

THIS is my Birthday present from me to Me 2014

Dear Schiphol Airport representative,

I’m writing to inform you that I had a negative experience at your Airport Medical Services( AMB CENTRUM AIRSIDE), the First Aid services at Schiphol international Airport on 26 June 2014. & the time of seeking medical service was at 10.55 am Amsterdam Time , the General Practitioner on duty who handled my case was named Dr Bakker, S.
First of all, I recognise that you, as the reader of this letter, are not responsible for my bad experience, but I am still upset about the situation & see the need to present it to your kind review and revert before bringing my rude treatment to public discussion.
On 26th June 2014, I arrived Schiphol Airport in the morning at 9am to catch my flight bound for Singapore by the Singapore Airlines SQ 323 ETD 1115am. I was walking clearing immigration after I checked in & gotten my boarding pass. As I head towards the direction of the departure Gate, I started to perspire rapidly & finding difficulties in catching my breathes. I was then under the impression that my family history of Asthma was the cause, & I kept fighting my way to gate G.
When I finally struggled to the departing gate at 10.10 am I affirmed. I started to find the condition worsen as I saw passengers gradually walked to the waiting lounge because all I could imagined was the pressure difference up in the air could make my difficulties in catching my breathes harder. I started to panic & as I was contemplating whether should I consult the ground staffs of my status but I was too weak to attempt even standing up then ! I could barely make coherent sentence to the gentleman next to me that I needed airline staff’s attention.
Almost immediately , Mr Wesley & Miss Melissa from Singapore Airlines came to my attention & as I could vaguely speak a word each time. I repeatedly mentioned – “VENTOLIN” , “INHALER” , “ASTHMA” ! the airlines staffs had me seated on a wheelchair which they rushed me to the clinic for immediate consultation at the First Aid Centre which is situated in the Airport Terminal premises.
Dr Bakker S , to my recollection was apathy towards receiving patients. All I could remember was he constant reminders that consultation fees incurred was my liability! The amount due of 25 Euro was settled by My Citibank Visa ending 1822! I recalled his unfriendly voice When he finally asked me questions pertaining my situations with a 10 min consultation whereby Miss Melissa from the airline was by my side since my attack, Dr Bakkers’ indifferent behavior as a Doctor ain’t too professional to my perception . Furthermore, His uncaring attitude towards any first experience of panic attack patients seemed overwhelming harsh but I was then in no position to question this but his rudeness to Mr Wesley & Miss Melissa, I simply could not help but to bring to your attention! . His behaviour& attitude as a Doctor’s morals confirmed the following day by My Wesley & Miss Melissa upon my departure is not only my sentiments to bring upon your awareness . Please Note that this will reflect on the general treatments by the practitioner from the authority of Amsterdam’s international Airport!

I feel utterly disappointed with this treatment experience & no apology from Bakker is needed personally but I will be waiting for his kind letter of apologies to Mr Wesley Watkinson , My attending airline services Manager that also had no experience if customers’ sudden panic attacks which accompanied me to the first aid centre.

Kindly contact Mr Wesley, I appreciate your kind reply with regards to the situation pending to be resolve . I thank you for your kind attention .

Penn Y

Penn Yap
Director | Kiki Culte Pte Ltd
M. (65) 9631-6066 • • 11th floor Wisma Atria 435 Orchard Road Singapore 238877



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